Shut Up You're DIS-GHUS-TING.

Top Chef Canada is like the best TV show ever, but these judges should really learn not to speak with their mouths full.

Swallow before you speak. Any lady knows this.

Oh, and I borrowed the strip from here.

Life Fail?

Just watched 'The trip', that sort of documentary/road trip movie that Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon did, and yes, it's all fun and laughs isn't it? It's all impressions and witty convos and Coogan pulling hot birds half his age, but bloody watch it right through and effing repent people!

I'm terrified of ending up like Coogan. I admit it readily and openly, I'm bloody well terrified of being all free like a bird and all that shit. See, Brydon has a wife (albeit dead plain) and a kid (sort of cute) and they've blates missed him. What does Coogan have? Casual sex, yes. Bit of a rail or two, yes. Empty flat to return to, yes.

The most forced thirty seconds of that film is Coogan calling his US agent telling him he won't do a US pilot...'I've got kids'. Dude. The whole interior of that flat tells us you ain't got no bloody kids anywhere near you. Get real. Do they even call you dad? Are they older than your current shag or 'bout the same age?

I'm terrified I'm about to end up a Coogan. All I ever wanted was to be a Brydon. All I ever wanted was to have someone love me dammit, love me and put up with my crap. Brydon's got that, why not me?

Sand In Every Imaginable Crevice. Still Happy.

This is our beach. We can dig it.

I Can't Go To Bed When I Feel This Alone

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Unexpected expectations thrown at you from all sides and all of a sudden you're in need.

I never asked for it. I never wanted what I didn't have and all of a sudden I want what I don't have and it's someone elses to have and not yours to give and not mine to long for.

Are you sure you want to be with me, I've nothing to give? (is what you should have said, fair warning should have been given)

I should've said no but I would've said yes. I'll say yes if you ever ask.

Please ask.



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